I'm working on a project at the moment that involves Zelda. I expect it to be complete in less than a week. I wanted to gather up all my old Zelda drawings so I could compile them in this project. Remembering I made some C-Mix based on Zelda in the past, I looked through some comics to try and find it. About halfway through the thumbnails for my comics, I saw Cloudflash Mix #136, which is about one of many random hiatuses that occurred.
I started reading the comics from there and thought to myself, y'know, I did a pretty decent job on these things after all. The artwork was at a higher level than I remember drawing at - I feel as though I might not even be able to draw that well anymore. More importantly, the comics seemed funny to me again. It was almost as if I was an outsider just reading the comics for the first time. It's a very different feeling compared to when I create the comics - when I have the buildup and punchline in mind for 2 or 3 hours, when I publish the comic and read it 3 or 4 times everyday to see the fruits of my labour, and when I just plain don't see anything funny or redeeming about my own work after the sky is not falling it and becoming indifferent to it.
I remember the occasional critic telling me a certain comic wasn't funny at all, telling me my art sucks, telling me my comics look like weeaboo how unfortunate. Unfortunately, those comments lingered in my head and I thought they were true. There are some pretty lame comics mixed in for sure. Even in recent months, sometimes I think about how I should've done something a bit different with certain comics. Overall, though, I'm satisfied with what I've done. I haven't made a comic in almost 2 years, and it's been about 3 years since I had any consistency in making them, but I finally feel like I might want to make some more.
Of course, I've lost my audience by now. Everyone's trying to become successful at life with no time to look at some unknown comics. If there were ever any lurkers for C-Mix, I'm sure they've long forgotten and given up on it. I dunno if it'd be worth making more comics, but maybe I'll try in the not-too-distant future.
_________________And it was finally my turn to be given the test. The teacher handed me a couple papers with material on "life". I remember thinking, "is this the final test?"